I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
