Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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