She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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