i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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