margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Found your dick twin last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think my moral compass just broke
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