Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
