Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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