I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
