That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
