Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
