I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
