i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
