I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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