I wannas sexs uuuuu
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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