I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
vagina is talking i cant
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
