'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
