Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
