Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
