Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
