She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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