First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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