I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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