tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
