i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
