I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
