drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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