Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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