plz talk dirty to me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
