Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
