ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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