Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
