he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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