Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
