He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
