I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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