watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
