If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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