Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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