and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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