shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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