Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
