I didn't shave. On purpose
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
