There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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