i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
