Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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