It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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