If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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