I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
