Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
