I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
